A Rising to New Life

Although it was several years ago, I remember that day like it was just yesterday. That day was a new beginning for me. The beginning of a new steady walk in confidence in God. The beginning of learning in Whom I am to ONLY place my hope — in the One that never changes. This day I could say, was the end of a life of hiding, released from a prison of my own making. And now, here I write, as a testimony of God’s raising power. 

She had been chosen. I had not. She received what I had hoped to. It hits me in my core, as if the life had been knocked out of me. I had been overlooked by man, but the blow that debilitated me was feeling, in that moment, as if I had been overlooked by God. I was no where near dying, not in the natural sense, but I sensed death that day. I had let the approval of man be intertwined in my thinking as the approval of God. So if man disregarded me, then in God’s eyes, I must be defective. And if God left me disposed, then what hope did I have.


Hope deferred made my heart sick. (Prov 13:12) Hope to be a chosen vesselIncreased delay prostrated my soul weak, and disappointment killed it. Hope misplaced was my demise. Hope in man will always disappoint, but as I wait in hope for the Lord I will not be put to shame, for He, God Himself has said, “I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. I will not. I will not. I will not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let down or relax My hold on you! Assuredly not!” (Ps 33:20, Ps 25:3, Heb 13:5)


What I did not know, is that all my striving in vain to please man, had also deadened my soul. Only work for God will satisfy.  If I am to walk as Jesus walked, and His food, His nourishment is to do the will and pleasure of Him Who sent Him and to accomplish and completely finish His work (John 4:34), then my sustenance is to do the will of the Father and derive my nourishment from His pleasure in me — not man’s.

That day, God did not leave me crouching in the corner of my room with my despondent soul shrouded in darkness, even though sun-rays beamed in bright from my bedroom window. He did not leave me to myself to endure the pummeling from the enemy of my soul, as the devil had found a most opportune time. God had a different purpose, in taking what the enemy meant for my harm and turning it around for my good. For there to be a resurrection of my soul, there had to be a death — death to seeking any glory of my own, and finding my value in it. “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, Who loved me and gave Himself for me.” (Gal 2:20)  I have been raised up with Christ, and I have died, and my life is hidden with Christ in God. (Colossians 3:1,3)


After weeping and even wailing. After the Spirit Who gives Life, the same Spirit Who raised Christ from the dead and lives in me, breathed out and resuscitated my soul. After heart laid low, body prostrated, voice crying out in desperate plea to Abba to rescue me. After Words of Truth as the Sword of the Spirit were spoken aloud in offense, and the shield raised to quench the enemy’s flaming arrows that fly.


After all of that — I rose. First, a rising in my soul, then a rising to my feet. After a couple of hours of battle that was real, wrestling with dark forces unseen, I stood. I found my victory in Christ, and freedom — true freedom I walk in today. For whom the Son sets free, is truly free — free from sin and free from the slavery of pleasing man.

 

This day I was raised, and found my footing and began a new walk –

walking in confidence as a daughter of the King.

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  • http://www.gettingdownwithjesus.com Jennifer@GDWJ

    Wow, girl! You’ve got God-fidence, and it.is.beautiful! You wear Him well in your words, in your smile, in your joy-sparkled faith!

    How I love this post. You’ve spoken to an issue that is dear to my heart.

    Well done. VERY well done.

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Jennifer,

      None of your words go wasted on this heart of mine… I treasure each one. They speak to me as I go about my days… these words here bring life :)

      Thank you for your support… and your encouragement… and sharing your stories of your visit with the beautiful people of Haiti.

      Blessings and love to you…

      Michele-Lyn

  • http://myfreshlybrewedlife.com/ Barbie

    You’ve brought back memories of a time where I fought for man’s approval. And it wasn’t not too long ago where I still cried, “Do you see me”? “Do you heart me”? But God, He is the one who sees. I just love your heart my friend. I appreciate your honesty and courage in sharing your story. You are truly AMAZing!

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Barbie,

      Thank you and thank you! You have know idea how much your words mean to me. Maybe you do :) You bring me courage here. Courage to keep sharing and keep connecting. Somedays I wander and wonder getting lost between bedrooms and bathrooms and piles of laundry and piles of dishes…

      Thank you for cheering me on! With much love back to you… YOU are AMAZING!

  • http://www.5dsandme.wordpress.com Amy

    Oh, there are days I have the hardest time believing what man thinks of me and not what our God does. He doesn’t forget even one of us.

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Amy,

      I am right there with you! And I am so glad that He is long-suffering and gracious to never leave us while we are learning His ways and His truth…

      Thank you for the visit… sister.

      Blessings to you…

      Michele-Lyn

  • http://www.Adventurezinchildrearing.com kelli- AdventurezInChildRearing

    lovely – and something I think we can most all relate to as women especially – liked you on fb ;) nice to “meet” you

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Kelli,

      It is so very nice to meet you, and thanks for the like :) It’s a small beautiful community, but growing. You are right… so many woman struggle with the same insecurities, and our Lord is so gentle and gracious not to condemn us in them, but provide the power to overcome them.

      Blessings to you…

      Michele-lyn

  • http://alwaysalleluia.com Kris

    Look how you shine Jesus! Love the fighter in you, who clings tightly to our great defender, and gives strength for the days to come…. Beautiful, my friend!

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Kris,

      I join in praise with you, for He is good! His grace has truly enabled me to walk.

      Thank you, as always, for encouraging me here.

      With love,

      Michele-Lyn

  • Lorna

    Thank you for sharing this and thank you ladies for the comments that follow. I too have been struggling with walking through my days searching out the approval of man. The Lord has brought it to my mind every moment and He is so gracious to walk with me through this valley of growing and learning to search for only Him. <3 What a beautiful reminder you gave us of a faithful God!

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Lorna,

      Ah… that walk can seem a lonely one. It seems it would be so much easier at times, to just not care at all about what others think. Thank God, He doesn’t condemn us in our struggles, even though not everyone, including us at times, understands them — He does. You are right! He is faithful to walk us through as He is so concerned with what is happening is us, while His gentle masterful hands are conforming us to His image. Blessings to you as you live out your life for His glory, living to please Him. I journey with you…

      With love,

      Michele-Lyn

  • r.elliott

    Michele…this is just lovely…I love,love the joyful picture of you…all redeemed…all Loved…it shine forth. Who the Son sets free is free indeed. blessings~

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Ro,

      Thank you, thank you! Always! I never tire of your words here, and do not tire of my thanks and gratitude :) I give Him glory for His goodness to us…

      Blessings you, my friend… with lots of love your way,

      Michele-Lyn

  • http://myjourneytoauthenticity.com Meredith

    Wow — how incredibly powerful.
    How tangible and real He proved Himself to be, in the shadow of feeling overlooked and forgotten.

    Praise Him!! Amen!

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Meredith,

      He is so good… Abba Father and my King — our King. All the glory to Him… and all the praise.

      Thank you for stopping by and rejoicing with me :) Blessings to you, friend.

      Michele-Lyn

  • http://simplystriving.wordpress.com Nikki

    I am standing and applauding you, friend. for fighting that battle. for refusing to be defeated by it. and for proudly declaring it here today!
    so very proud of you and blessed by your post. thank you!

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Nikki,

      Thank you, sweet friend! He is good and He is faithful. Only by His grace can I stand, and I am learning that more and more everyday :)

      Blessings and with love,

      Michele-Lyn

  • http://3dlessons4life.wordpress.com Lyli @3dLessons4Life

    This post reminds me of that verse in Psalm 45: “The king is enthralled with your beauty; honor Him for He is your life.” — it’s so easy to forget that His plans for me are so much better than mine. Thanks for this reminder!

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Lyli,

      What a beautiful verse… truly! What version is that? I may be able to search and find out :) Thank you for stopping by and leaving such affirming words. You encourage me, here.

      Blessings to you…

  • http://www.theresomethingdifferent.blogspot.com Alecia

    Beautiful post about not finding our worth in man, but God. This is hard to remember because we want others to see our worth and praise us, but if this doesn’t happen we have to have our worth planted in what God. And believe that we are truly “Good Enough,” because God says so!

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Alecia,

      Yes and Amen! We are God’s own masterpiece and it is wonderful when we can walk in the truth and freedom of knowing our worth in God.

      Thank you for visiting here and reminding we are “Good Enough” because He is :)

  • http://www.donnaleighworship.com Donna Hinkley

    Michele – This post today hit me “where it hurts”. For two days now, I’ve been struggling HARD with feelings of rejection, disappointment and heartache (sounds like a country song, huh?). I NEEDED this message. Thank you.

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Donna,

      It is so nice to see you around here :) Thank you for sharing your heart honestly here. I think the enemy prowls… just waiting for opportunities to amplify our insecurities and bombard us with thoughts that just magnify the rejection we feel… Thank God for the Truth of God’s Word that liberates us…

      Thank you for encouraging me. I held back in writing this post, and wasn’t sure about it. Your words confirm that I need to go forward and share in faith.

      Blessings to you and with love,

      Michele