A few years ago, a trusted elder of a church shared with me a vision. He said he saw me as a girl, looking out a window, blurred with black streaks. He brought a message, saying, “The Lord says, you are washed clean.” He did not know what he was telling me, but I did.

Through the dirty streaks, is how I imagined the Lord saw me — dirty and defective. Walking everyday carrying the heaviness of shame. Disgraced by the immorality I practiced before I met my Redeemer. I knew I was forgiven, but did not know how not to feel dirty.

I know now that the commandments of God are given because of His unfailing love for us. He wants us to obey them, so we may walk in the blessings of keeping them. He wants us to keep them to preserve us from the pain, suffering, destruction and death that comes with not.

I carried the shame of not saving myself pure for my husband, well into a decade of my marriage. Before I was 16 years old, I lived life as if there was no God, ignorant of the truth of His unfailing love. I endeavored to fill places in my hallowed, hurting soul with damaging counterfeits of true love. Instead, they left me battered and bruised, and dirty and ashamed.

Sixteen and pregnant, Jesus found me. He reached out in love I never knew, and rescued me. I received new life, my spirit reborn. I held new life, a daughter born. As I grew in God, and learned more truth, my prayers for her became more fervent. My greatest prayer and my most desperate hope, that she would not follow the same godless path that I would. That she would choose to follow Jesus, and her heart would be His, all the days of her life.

I did not want her to know shame, like I had known. I did not want her to carry the weight of the shackles into her marriage bed, causing her to struggle with the pleasure of the gift God reserves for the covenant of marriage, seeing it as anything, but  holy beauty.

As a young single teenage mama of one, just beginning to see the Light, fearfully, I held her close. As a mama of four today, still learning this walk of grace, I hold them ALL close. Yet, today, I have vision, not fear, for the greatness God has planned for each of their lives. I have faith, trusting and knowing of His power and desire to preserve.

The baby girl is growing into a beautiful grace-filled young woman of God, and the time has come to make a promise. Although, her heart already fully committed to following the ways of God, we desired something tangible for her to hold, to wear. Husband and I took her to one of our favorite restaurants. It would be the first time she tasted a meal, almost gourmet. Her first time to have a filet-mignon.

This night was more for them.

309. The father, Father God gave us as a gift — and her.

310. I was there to enjoy the moment and capture it.

311. From his phone, he read to her words he’d chosen for this night.

You are a precious gift, and I am proud of the young woman you’ve become. I wish for you the very best this life God has to offer, and I encourage you to maintain a level of holy character in all your thoughts, actions, and in your attitude. Please take honor in your body and hold tight to your gift of virginity. Don’t take lightly the treasure you bestow, but take joy in that which you will so intimately share with another.

Follow the ways of pure truth, take confidence in your commitment to purity, modesty, and self control. Be patient my dear! Wait! Continually guard your heart. If you struggle and walk the line of self-destruction, take confidence in the POWER of the Holy Spirit who has equipped you with the WILL to stand strong. You are precious! Valuable to God! You ARE worth waiting for! 

312. She beamed.

313. My heart flooding over with gratefulness, knowing because of God’s Redeeming love, I never have to know what-might-have-been.

314. Then we read the Vow of Purity aloud, and she wholeheartedly agreed. {Although, this here link to various more certificates, links to a site where purity rings are sold, we did not purchase ours there.}

315. She signed.

316. He signed.

317. I signed.

Then we gave it to her. She’d been waiting a long time for it. We had to find the perfect one, the one that suited her perfectly. Then we had it engraved with…

~Her purity is His priority~

I am grateful — utterly thankful for…

318. this night.

319. the Lover and Guardian of my soul.

320. no longer having to walk weighted by disgrace.

321. new destinies secured in Christ.

322. a family serving the Lord and following hard after Him.

323. a devoted loving husband and father not afraid to love tenderly.

324. provision to be able to take eldest beauty to a special restaurant,

325. and for the ring.

326. Eldest beauty’s heart that belongs completely to Him

327. no fear in love, because perfect Love casts out all fear. 1 Jn 4:18

328. the One Who is a shield about me… and the lifter of my head. Ps 3:3

329. the One Who heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Ps 147:3

330. When I look to Him for help, I will be radiant with joy;

no shadow of shame will darken my face. Ps 34:5