You are a Writer :: God’s been waiting for my Yes…

“You are a Writer”
I had no idea of the challenging, heart-breaking transforming work He would begin in me this summer. One that would leave me undone, bringing me to the edge, Him asking me to leap fearless, and begin a whole new chapter, maybe even book, in the story He is writing for my life. His work in my heart began with me answering the challenge to read the Bible in 90 Days, continuing when I stumbled upon and then read this book, by Jeff Goins. Then got deeper by reading this book, by the same author. Deeper still, just today, after reading Ann’s story.

I am broken.

My post here, is just the beginning for me. I wish I could tell you why it is this important. I just know that it is. He’s drawing me out — outside myself. He’s calling me to press through an invisible wall of fear — fear of failure, fear of ridicule, fear of being considered a fool.

I wrote a post early June, and I asked, “What are your big God dreams.” I answered first,


My dream is for God to use my writing to provide for my family and I to go the nations on regular, short-term mission’s trips to provide food for the hungry, shelter for the bare, water for the thirsty and Jesus for the lost.


It was my first time ever, voicing this dream. Since then, God has been working relentlessly to get me to believe what He already knows is true about me. And it’s not even for me — it’s for Him. It’s for Him for me to finally believe and unearth the gift — embrace the gift, because He’s coming for it.

Something inside of me needs to pour. Something that scares me. I’ve been guarding it. I’ve been afraid. Something locked up, and it’s time to be released. I’ve asked almost daily, as these days weeping comes as easily as one turns on a faucet.



What is it that I feel? I cannot put it into words. 

Why has it been so hard, and so painful? 

Am I hearing right, You telling me to stand-up? 

What are the lies that hold me down?

You patiently wait for me, but You’re speaking these words strong.


You’re stronger than you think.

Will you rise and take your place?

Will you break through this invisible wall of fear?

Will you be who I’ve said you are?

I have offered you a gift.

It’s yours already, yet it remains unclaimed.

What are you waiting for?


I wonder, could it really be me You are calling out for?

Have You come for me in this low, dark place?

What is it so hard for me to believe, even though I am a daughter of a King?

You are waiting for my yes, and my yes is just the beginning.

Beginning of what? Is that the unknown that I fear?

Why is it so hard to give my yes? I live a life surrendered. That’s what I say.

Why is there such a fight within? I don’t have the answer, but You wait for my reply.

None of it is for me. It’s for one eternal purpose

of You calling Your creation to Yourself. 

Help me use my life for the same purpose. 

If this is the means You desire me to use, although the idea is not my own —

I trust You with it.


Will this “YES” take me to the nations, Lord, to provide food for the hungry, shelter for the bare, water for the thirsty and You for the lost? Because that’s what I want.


Then here is my leap fearless. Yes, God — I AM A WRITER.

 

  • http://www.wynnegraceappears.com Elizabeth

    Hey Michelle, clicking over from the Allume blog today. I am so glad you posted this because I love it!!! Yes, you are a writer and may God bless your pen and your heart, your fingers and your soul as you write and write some more. Your words are powerful here. I hope I left a comment the first time. But if not, know that I share in your joy at your proclamation of your hopes and dreams.

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Elizabeth,

      Thank you again for such grace and love and wind for these sails that you leave here in words on my blog. Thank you for your blessing and prayers 🙂

  • http://thehomespunlife.com Sisterlisa

    Yes, see yourself as he sees you…and all the potential he placed in you from the day he created you. Fear is the enemy, faith is our friend.

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Sisterlisa,

      Amen! and Amen! Thank you for the affirming words, here.

      Blessings to you,

      Michele-Lyn

  • http://graceformymess.com Jana @Grace for My Mess

    Bravo, and go get it, girl! I’m so proud of you for giving voice to your struggle, for trusting God to do something phenomenal with the dreams and talents He planted in you. I can’t wait to see where He takes you, friend!

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Jana,

      You made me smile big! Thank you for all the generous encouragement 🙂 You are a blessing!

  • http://www.pruningprincesses.blogspot.com Laura @ Pruning Princesses

    My hero. I have similar dreams but your sign makes my knees knock. So proud of you.

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Laura,

      My knees knock looking at it, too 🙂 Thank you sweet friend…

  • http://www.positivelyalene.com/ Positively Alene

    You totally rock my soul!!! YES YES YES you are a writer and not jus that you’re a writer with a PURPOSE!!! you go girl

    Can’t wait to read more.

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Alene,

      Oh, God has used you in my life in a big way! I am so blessed to know you. Thank you for your affirmation here!

  • http://caryjo-roadrunner.blogspot.com Joanne Norton

    I understand. Short-term [or long term] missions is a huge blessing.. both giving and receiving. I’d do it again and again. Love it. Writing… Yep. Need to move more that direction, and I am MUCH older than you are, so sometimes wonder if the door will close, but keep hearing “WRITE!!!” so do… on my blog if nothing else.

    As you walk with, and follow, and obey Him… nothing else ever counts. Expect blessings will flow into your life… and keep flowing, forever and ever.

  • http://my2monsters.com Kristina

    Ya! Way to go! I just found your blog for the first time today but sure looks like you are a good writer! 🙂

  • http://wordglow.wordpress.com Pam

    The more I visit all our beautiful writer blogs I am struck with how our enemy is working overtime trying to silence our voices, fill us with doubts about whether we are really writers, have anything special to say etc. etc. And God is reminding me for myself…He wants to use us all, He will anoint and move through us, He has different “colors” He wants to shine from us each. And doubting that is doubting him. You encourage me in that today too. Let us stop the self doubt and trust His hand is guiding our “pen.” Yes, the dream in your heart is His. You ARE a writer. And I know He will take your dream and move beyond our imagination. 🙂

  • http://www.heavenlyglimpses.blogspot.com/2012/07/when-we-don [email protected]

    I love it! I love your God dream. I love how he is moving you and that you cannot deny it anymore. You simply have to claim it. Oh, I’m routing for you on this journey!

  • http://newlifesteward.com Mary Beth

    Michelle,

    i just love this! You are a writer! God has given you an amazing gift with words. You always draw me in quickly with your posts and they end too soon! I look forward to seeing what God does as you say “yes”!

    Mary Beth

    PS Thanks for linking up with WIP Wednesday!

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Mary Beth,

      You gave me joy with your words 🙂 The part about my posts ending too soon, made me laugh and humbled me at the same time.

      You are a blessing. So glad I am getting to know you 🙂

  • http://www.mercyINKblog.com Lauren @mercyINK

    You have totally inspired me. Whew… and thanks for linking to Ann’s post, too. It all resonates so deep…

    Thank you for being so vulnerable with your dreams and passions and desires, laid bare for the world to read. But they are His dreams, in you; “Christ in you, the hope of glory” AMEN!

    I would be honored if you would consider linking up at mercyINK’s weekly Heart & Home party (at http://www.mercyINKblog.com)

    Cannot wait to continue on reading your story— HIS story in you— & see how He moves. God is so good!

    Blessings,
    Lauren

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Lauren,

      Thank you 🙂 Your words encourage me, too. Thank you for sharing your link-up. I am glad you reminded me about it!

      And yes, His dreams in me. He has given them and I hadn’t embraced them. Until they become mine, I cannot offer them back to Him. That is what He has been speaking to me for a very long time. I have kept them at arms length for so long.

      I am trusting. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. You bless me!

  • http://www.gettingdownwithjesus.com [email protected]

    Woohoo!

    Cheering for you in Iowa. Can you hear me? 🙂

    Deidra Riggs of deidrariggs.com (and our managing editor at The High Calling) has been talking a lot about “big, amazing ridiculous dreams.” It’s so inspiring to think about it.

    She recently wrote: “Dreams rock the boat, and so we squash them and point our fingers at them. We use our stern voices and we tell them to go to their room and not to come out until they’re ready to say “I’m sorry” and then we make them vow to sit quietly in the corner. Dreams don’t promise a cushy 401K or health insurance or six figures or even five.Dreams are scary, and because they scare us, we don’t always get to know them.”

    But Deidra, and now you, challenge us to step straight into our fear and our reservations, to find God leading is into those crazy-cool dreams.

    Love you.

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Jennifer,

      I am going to have to write these words down. What powerful words from Deidra. Thank you for taking the time to share them with me today. You are such a blessing to me. You are a leader in my life.

      Love and appreciate you,

      Michele-Lyn

  • http://wynnegraceappears.com Wynnegraceappears

    How very very beautiful and powerful your words are here today. I share in your joy at all God is transforming in your life and in your heart. What a privilege to have you share so much of the tender parts. Thanks for the real, the authentic and the honesty in your post and in your story. Bless you. I am glad to be reading here and getting to know you through your beautiful writing.

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Wynnegraceappears,

      Thank you! You words truly blessed me today. They were so sweet and genuine. I am humbled.

      With love to you,

      Michele-Lyn

  • http://29lincolnavenue.com Stacey

    Love this! May God bless each step of this journey!

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Stacey,

      Thank you so very much 🙂 I am leaning in, staying very close to the feet of Abba, these days.

  • Lymari R.

    Since I took the 90day challenge I’ve also felt God stirring something inside of me. I’m not sure where and what he’s leading me to but I struggle with a lot of the same questions and fears.
    I’m encouraged by you and all my other sisters in Christ that are leading the way,being brave and saying “Hear I am Lord!”

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Lymari,

      Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here. We all journey together 🙂 I still believe all the answers are found in seeking Him. So, I pray He speaks clearly to you, as you do seek Him. I feel so blessed to be part of this challenge.

  • http://www.aliciabruxvoort.net [email protected] Overflow

    YES! It takes courage to say it- to claim our gift and declare we will DO something with it. His dreams for you are BIGGER than you can imagine. Cheering you on today!

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Alicia,

      Thank you! Your “cheers” have encouraged me today 🙂 So much went into this short post, I feel my words hardly convey. But I know this is just the beginning.

      Thanks for stopping by here and blessing me.

  • http://scribingthejourney.com Duane Scott

    How exciting! Yes! I believe in you. 🙂

    I said the same thing a year ago that you are saying today. And yesterday, I spoke with a literary agent and a few days before, I committed to go to Haiti.

    If God can put me in those places, He can do the same for you. 🙂

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Duane,

      I left a reply to your comment on your Facebook page. Thanks for the encouragement.

  • http://www.deniseinbloom.com Denise In Bloom

    This post makes me so happy! Thrilled to see you following those God-sized dreams. You are amazing and I can’t wait to see where your journey will take you.

    Love much,
    Denise

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Denise,

      This make me smile big 🙂 Thank you so much. You truly are a blessing to me.

  • http://sixinthehickorysticks.blogspot.com Nacole

    beautiful (((Michele))), this. is. wonderful writing. i applaud you–yeah– brave, courageous, fearless *you*. love that sign you are holding and your beaming face behind it. loving you through the miles…

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Nacole,

      I think of you daily — truly. I pray for you, too. Thank you for taking the time to share your love here. I’ve tried several times to email you from my phone. I access that so much easier than my computer, but for some reason I cannot get it to pull up your emails to reply. It does that sometimes.

      Anyhow, sending my love back to you <3

      Blessings to you…

  • http://simplystriving.wordpress.com Nikki

    I’d give you a giant hug if I could, friend! So proud of you!! Oh what God can do through you….and the many you are serving right here in this space…

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Nikki,

      I feel your hug 🙂 Thank you for your encouragement. You last line blessed me so.

      With love,

      Michele-Lyn

  • http://redemptionsbeauty.com Shelly Miller

    Love that photo, your unbridled declaration, letting go of fear and saying yes to God. Amen!

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Shelly,

      Thank you! I love your words, and not just here. They have helped me so much this week 🙂

  • http://alwaysalleluia.com Kris

    You ARE a writer. Follow His lead and He’ll show you what that looks like. You’re already doing it, so beautifully too….
    *hugs*

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Kris,

      Thank you. Your encouragement means so much! I pray that His lead is the ONLY one I follow 🙂 Much grace always needed.

      Blessings, friend.

  • http://itwasbroughtonbylove.blogspot.com Southern Gal

    Here from Hello Mornings! I’m looking forward to growing and stretching with you and the others.

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Southern Gal,

      It is so very nice to meet you 🙂

  • ro elliott

    Oh …you are a writer…a very gifted one that shares your heart and truth so well. There is no need in striving…just keep abiding… “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” Keep letting Him lead and saying yes to those things He speaks to your heart. blessings~

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Ro,

      Thank you for your grace-filled words 🙂 I read the email with your comment this morning and I took your words with me throughout my day 🙂

      With love,

      Michele

  • http://upthesunbeam.blogspot.com/2012/07/riding-whitecaps.ht Shaunie Friday

    Michele, I totally get it! I get why it was such a scary leap to say those 4 words! It took me a long time to say it, and still sometimes I feel funny saying it when I don’t have a book deal or a speaking tour like I am conditioned to believe “real” writers have. There was a time when I knew God wanted me to use my writing skills for Him and I wasn’t doing it. A prestigious ministry opportunity came along and I knew I had to turn it down until after I had been obedient about the writing. I think that was when I started to be able to say it even to myself. Yes!! You ARE are a writer!! Looking forward to reading more of where God is leading you!!

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Shaunie,

      What an encouraging testimony! Thank you for taking the time to share it with me here. I often think about people in the Bible, like David. I wonder if he thought about his work being “published”. Probably not, and he wrote anyway. His writing landed him in the greatest best seller of all time 🙂

      Well, I guess that is just to say — God is looking for our obedience and a pure motivation of heart. I hope He finds that in me.

      Blessings, friend,

      Michele-Lyn

  • http://myfreshlybrewedlife.com/ Barbie

    Yes you are! So proud of you. There is no fear in God! You go girl.

    • http://www.alifesurrendered.com Michele-Lyn

      Barbie,

      Thank you 🙂 and Amen! Leaning is very close these days, to be found in His perfect love that casts out ALL fear!