Thanksgiving Day, after we ate and had a short story-time and devotion, I wanted a family photo. Just one good one. Sounds easy, right? My ideas seem so much better in my head. I heard a couple of moans and groans, “Can we finally go now?” The kiddos were anxious to leave for a visit with extended family for dessert.

Not. Yet.

We had our two live Christmas trees outside, letting the branches fall out before we brought them in. So, I thought they would make a good back-drop. The sun was setting, and the lighting was a bit challenging. It took me a while to get the settings right on the camera, and the camera positioned correctly on the tripod.

My husband came out in almost the same outfit I was wearing. “Oh, no!” I exclaimed. “No matchy-matchy. Please change.” He protested, but still changed for me. He’s a good man, but this was NOT a good start.

Meanwhile, I’m testing the settings on the camera, with a beautiful, but less than thrilled subject, and my boy is whirling around us on his four wheeler.

It took a little while, but my husband finally came out after changing. We tried a few family shots together. I’d set the self-timer and squeeze in to my spot, each time telling everyone where to stand and what to do. A couple dozen photos and fake-smiles later, I wasn’t satisfied.

I decided to move the tripod, and shuffle my family to the other side of the trees. A few more shots later, and I didn’t have one photo I liked. I did have a grumpy family getting grumpier by the moment. Frustrated and frozen, they were ready to be done.

Finally, my eldest daughter said it, “This isn’t really us.” (Us trying to pose as a perfect model family for a photo.) “Our family is crazy. Let’s just do a fun one,” she urged.

I didn’t think of it until then, but I remembered the “interval timer shooting” setting on my camera, which works like a photo-booth would. So, I set the number of pictures to take, and the number of seconds between each one.

I’d press OK, run to my family, and we’d all strike a pose. That changed everything. Giving up on perfection, letting every one be themselves, and loosening control — let loose the joy. We had more fun that last five minutes than we had the whole day. We laughed, acted silly, made lots of kisses, the real smiles came, and we captured moments I will treasure.

Out of the mouth of one of my babes came the truth. We aren’t the perfect family. We are spicy, and crazy. We are loud. We aren’t the most disciplined bunch. We are late to church almost every Sunday — the family in the car almost always waiting on me. We play pranks, and make lots of messes. Well, I’m usually refereeing and cleaning the messes.

Even in prayer times. When we pray together in a family circle, it becomes some sort of crazy, comical event. Every. Time. But, I’ve felt God’s Presence the sweetest in those times. The Sadducees and Pharisees would be appalled. But Jesus? I can almost hear Him laughing, too. He loves the laughter and the rejoicing, even at prayer time. “Let them laugh. My people have forgotten how to laugh,” He’s whispered. “Laughter is a gift.” 

And joy is strength.

This goal-oriented mama forgets that, a lot. Our family prayer-times turn laughter-sessions, when we have them, have done more to bond our family together than most anything else.

What I am still slow of learning is, I think I’m in control, but I’m not. My desire to control outcomes is wrapped up in a performance mentality and perfectionism. I have to let go — daily. Even though I worry that I’m getting it all wrong and ruining my children, the real problem is my pride, and wanting to show the world a model perfect family. It’s exhausting, really.

I wanted that perfect family picture to share, and was trying to put everyone in a little box, telling exactly what to wear, where to stand, and what to do. The result — a cold, miserable, and frustrated family with the pictures to prove it.

Then, Mama let go.

And we had a few minutes of crazy, silly, joy together. Not only did we make memories, but we captured them, too. I have more than one good family photo that’s getting hung up, and this mama is thankful.

Christ perfects us.

“It was a perfect sacrifice
by a Perfect Person
to perfect some
very imperfect people.”

Hebrews 10:14 MSG

See all posts in the series: Making of a Home [Unveiled]
P.S. Linking this post with my friend Crystal, today.