I never feel more like a grown child than when I’m talking to Abba about what someone else has that I want. Why can it be painful, sometimes? Why does it always feel like a reflection of my inability? Or self-worth? That somehow, Abba chose another, favored another, a better child of His over me? That, for some reason I wasn’t good enough, so I didn’t receive the blessing?
What foolishness, I confess.
What deception!
“If you are good, you can have (____).”
We parent that way. We were parented that way. We expect God to, and He doesn’t. He doesn’t use His blessings or gifts to control us or our behavior.
His blessings are extravagant, astonishing, for His holy purpose in our lives, and always for His glory.
“God can pour on the blessings in astonishing ways so that you’re ready for anything and everything, more than just ready to do what needs to be done. As one psalmist puts it,
He throws caution to the winds,
giving to the needy in reckless abandon.
His right-living, right-giving ways
never run out, never wear out.
The most generous God who gives seed to the farmer that becomes bread for your meals is more than extravagant with you. He gives you something you can then give away, which grows into full-formed lives, robust in God, wealthy in every way, so that you can be generous in every way, producing with us great praise to God.”
2 Corinthians 9:8 MSG
Hang tightly to truth, even in the pain of want, because the truth releases the grip of the lies that hold us captive. His Truth unlocks the shackles, and His Spirit brings healing.
There is no partiality in Him, ever. He doesn’t play favorites. The only prerequisite for His blessing I’ve ever found in the Word is obedient faith.
Simply, believing and obeying Him, and it has nothing to do with our ability. Rather, the more we are aware of our inability, the more we can obey and believe Him. The more our sole dependence rests on Him. The more we are aware of our spiritual poverty, the more able we are to acknowledge all we have and all we are is owing to the grace of God alone.
To be in want is painful. The promise is, “those who seek the Lord shall not be in want of any good thing.” (Psalm 34:10) If you do not have the thing you want, it’s either not time yet, or not what God has for you. God’s plans are good, and He adds no sorrow to His gifts for you.
Envy is a sneaky beast. It’s easy to see what someone else has and make it the desire of our heart, and even make it a life goal. We miss the mark when we do. We are rather, to “press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:14 KJV)
God promises to give those who delight in Him the desires of their heart. (Psalm 37:4) When He is our delight, His desires become ours. Is there any better want than that? Is there any want greater? Is there any want better than to want what God wants and what He desires?
May our deepest heart prayer be, not for we want that we don’t have, but for our greatest want to be Him. May He be our delight. May He fill our hearts with desire for Him, and desire for what He has for us, above all.