Psalm 34:19 NIV

When I heard his yells from a far, I thought baby girl had made her way in front of his car. Panicked stricken I ran, but thankfully found her safely sitting on the stoop. In the distance, I still heard his cries, and I knew. They were coming from the barn where Husband went to feed our beloved horse Whiskers. There, we’ve been nursing her back to health since before Thanksgiving. And the word from the doctor was, “We have already seen her at her worst. She will only get better from here.”

She was mistaken.

I heard my husband’s desperate plea, “No. Please. No!” as I jumped into the nearest flip-flops I could find, and still in my pajamas, ran across dew studded field to the barn. I didn’t know what I would find. Then I saw Husband’s tears and the desperation on his face. I went numb. I made my way to the barn, and surely, she could not have been worse. Gasping for air, laying in her own pool of saliva, her legs stiff, and the roundness of her belly heaving, labored. And his begging, “Get up. Please, Whiskers. Get up!”

I embraced Husband and his “Why’s?” and said it because I believed it, “God is still able.”

But she never got up.

And God is still good even when horses die.

And God is still good even when the morning brings mourning instead of joy.

And God is still good even when for loss, we dig deep holes and loss digs holes in our souls.

And God is still good when stalls sit empty,

and our beloved four legged friend descends the hollow, and dirt fills the empty space.

And only God can fill the gaping void left in a 13 year old girl’s heart.

And God is still good when we’ve done everything we know to do and it’s not enough.

And God is still good when we shop for orphans the night before to live a different CHRISTmas,

and the next morning — suffering we find.

And God is still good.

And God is still God.

Psalm 34:17-19 NIV