I am called to a fast, not from food, but from negative words toward my husband.

I let my voice rise again. Impassioned? No, it cannot be justified. It is empty of honor and brimming with disrespect. Speech that berates. I have become an expert at finding fault. I have been on edge. A little too close to it, actually, and my tongue has unleashed its venom.

No one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. This should not be.

James 3:8

FASTING? Food might be easier. But these days the Spirit is urging me to withhold, not from what enters the mouth, but from what comes out, which defiles. Matthew 15:11

Husband, he loves me unconditionally. He loves me as Christ loves the church. He draws near and pulls me close, as he has done more times than I can count. His sky-blue, crystal clear eyes, emanating unadulterated love, that choose to see passed my faults. He declares it again, the words that render the fortress angrily built in my heart, defenseless.

“You know I love you, and I would do anything for you.”

I cannot deny this as true because he has proven it over and over this passed decade-and-a-half, by his constant forgiveness, long-suffering love and devotion to me. Even still, more times than I care to admit, I have indulged my impulse and did not refrain from issuing blame, and emitting chastisement.

 

I wish you would… Don’t you know?… No! Not this way… If only… Of course you forgot… I have come to expect it… Well, you should’ve done this… You shouldn’t have done that… It’s your fault… Haven’t you learned by now? Why don’t you listen to what I say???

 

His confidence is dispelled by his help-meet harping about his shortcomings. Instead, I need…

 

~To cease from being inclined to speak words that criticize and debilitate. Instead, being a voice of encouragement, support and confidence for him.

~To abstain from speech that belittles, and offer statements that quell any sense of inadequacy that haunts him.

~To retire the blanket of disapproval, and cover him with the warmth of security of him knowing I believe in him because he possesses the qualities of a mighty man of God.

~To desist from reckless jabs that pierce like a sword, and utter pleasant, gracious words that are a honeycomb, sweet to his soul and healing to his bones. Proverbs 12:18, 16:24

~To refrain from ridicule that magnifies the internal jeering of his own self-doubt he already contends daily with, and speak affirmations that increase his confidence to succeed and prosper in all he endeavors.

~To resist the default to condemn when he falls short, and display grace, trust and appreciation, inspiring him with courage, spirit, and strength of mind, believing it is his longing desire to please God and please me.

How can I deprive him of courage when the harsh world pummels and pounds and the enemy of his soul is determined to dispirit and destroy?

Instead of badgering him, I must fight for him, not against him.

As his wife, God has given me a privilege that comes with responsibility. It is a power through prayer, to use my words to dispel the torment of the enemy. A power that my words possess, more than any other person in my husband’s life, to tear him down or to build him up, to dishearten or to embolden.

 

I repent. I commit. I choose to protect. I choose to hope and trust. I choose to dispose of any record of wrong I harbour. I choose to see him through faith’s eyes and believe the best.

This FAST from negative words and even thoughts to my husband,

 I can only do by the grace and mercy of God.

 

As I fast speech characterized by the absence of grace,

and instead offer encouragement that births confidence,

affirmation that establishes truth,

inspiration that breathes life,

I will energize and empower him

to bulldoze all the resistance that stands in his way.

I will be a load lifter and burden lightener.

Instead of being a constant reminder of his weakness and inability,

I will be confirming his position, and potential,

producing fadeless hope in the possibilities that are within him, 

as Christ’s strength is made perfect in his weakness.

 

I will witness his transformation, and behold him rise in his calling, becoming all that God has created him to be. Together we will be greater than we would have ever been apart, bringing glory to God with our whole lives…