It’s been a little while since I have taken part in Five Minute Friday. I have missed it. I am very glad to be joining LisaJo and this gracious, precious community of bloggers who bare open their souls to share raw and true what pours from their hearts through their fingers, writing for just 5 minutes, after reading the word prompt. Today the word is BEYOND. 

Sometimes I can’t see beyond the pre-teen attitude the raging hormones bring, and I feel like a failure in leading her to be like Christ.

Sometimes I can’t see beyond the determined strong will and I just want to wash my hands of the whole grace-filled parenting thing.

Sometimes I can’t see beyond the ugliness of the interaction with the other siblings, and I wonder if God made a mistake in choosing me for this.

I get so very angry sometimes — as I see the worst in me come out. I lash out in frustration.

Then, I cry out in desperation.

You’ve given her to me. Tell me how to parent her. Give me vision for her life.

She’s brought me to my knees more than any other one I have. The struggle has caused me to want to run from motherhood — more than any other.

Give me vision to see this strong-will You’ve put inside of her, as a gift, even though it seems it tears us apart. Help me see her as You do.

Then He does it, somehow. And my heart breaks, not for my struggle but for hers, and I see beyond today.

This gift she has, it’s for a high calling. One that few would be able to answer — but she will. And this job I have of training her, helping to smooth out the rough edges, tempering her, honing her gifts, drawing out her potential, fostering her growth, pleading for her while on my knees — this is my privilege and my gift.

And I see beyond the challenges and the difficulties of today — when I will be sitting on the sidelines as her biggest cheerleader as she does great exploits for the Kingdom — and my heart brought low that God would choose me for this.