I told the story of our home. The one about the small home we opted to build, though we had plans for a bigger one. Here, here, and here.

Reflecting on those memories, re-living the emotions I felt, imagining what could have been, might have been, and seeing my present reality has stirred up both negative and positive thoughts and feelings. I don’t settle into the negative. I have to be intentional about filling my mind and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. [Phil 4:8]

I have to work it at. I suppose we all do, but it seems like it comes more natural for some people.

I also tend to be very introspective and retrospective, and perhaps, to a fault.

I look back and see the road I’ve traveled that will forever be unchanged, and if I am not careful, suffocate with regret. I stand in my present place and purpose to seeking joy in the moments that just are. And I look ahead, mostly hopeful, sometimes paralyzed with fear, uncertain of the road that is still unclear, unseen, un-walked, un-lived.

I have more questions than I have answers.

There is no shortage of voices shouting claims, theories, philosophies, ideas.

But I need the right answers, for me, for us, in this season, now.

God’s been speaking strong to my heart, “Seek Wisdom.”

As I sit at the table at dinner, astonished at the disrespect I hear fall from freely the lips of my teenager, my soul hurts, my heart sinks heavy, and my mind wonders. It seems like I’ve tried everything. And I’m still making a home, and I still don’t know how.

And I hear it clear again, “Seek Wisdom.”

I’m lacking. I seek knowledge, there is no doubt. I am a student and a disciple, a reader and a learner. But, if God, by His Spirit, is leading me to seek wisdom — then I must be lacking. I am not even sure I understand what the difference between knowledge and wisdom is. But I know there is a distinction.

I can look up both words in the dictionary and find their meanings.

knowledge |ˈnälij

facts, information, and skills acquired by a person through experience or education

wisdom |ˈwizdəm

the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment

But to truly understand, I must find Wisdom.

Apply my whole-self in the quest for it.
Cry out for insight. Raise my voice for understanding.
Seek Wisdom as I would for silver.
Search for Wisdom as for hidden treasure.
When I do, I will find the knowledge of our All-Knowing God.
For it’s the Lord who gives Wisdom.
From His own mouth understanding.
And so in seeking Wisdom, I find Him,
where I still believe every answer is found.
[Proverbs 2]

Even in making of a home.

Especially in making of a home.

“Through skillful and godly wisdom a house, a life, a home, a family is built, and by understanding it is established on a sound and good foundation…”

Proverbs 24:3 AMP

Find all posts in the series: Making of a Home [Unveiled]