As a mama, it is my greatest joy to witness my family loving one another.

 

Even so, I fail to be their example, at times. I still have days where my volcano named control awakens and exasperation erupts and spews ruinous molten lava in words spoken towards an unsuspecting brood, devastating to the moments filled with joy and peace and love that I crave. It may be normal for siblings to bicker, but it pains me to see my reflection in them and hear my voice in theirs, as they pierce and stab, with words that are my own.

 

I read this book, and then I read it to them. This book with a title that does not disclose the true essence of its message. This book that revealed my selfish heart. Its subject–HONOR. A few years have passed since we have read it, but on my shelf, visible to remind me. Its message still working on my soul.

Honor thinks of what would please someone else and gives more than expected.

It’s putting someone else’s needs above your own.

Honor values others in tangible ways.  (Scott Turansky)

 

In endeavoring to use control in a futile effort hold on to peace, in times passed, I filled my home with the shaking of my finger, and RULES, NO’s and DO NOT Do’s, with little room left for grace. But I had to learn and even still, I cannot pressure them for outward conformity with no loving empowerment for true, lasting, inner growth and change. “For if a law had been given which was able to impart life, then righteousness would indeed have been based on law.” Galatians 3:21 It is by grace, only by grace.

So, finding this new way of relating, valuing and enjoying each other by showing honor, summed up the rules of the household, like the law was summed in two imperatives, love God withholding nothing, and love others as we would like to be. 

So, we memorized it. We practice it.

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As motherhood has required more sacrifice than I ever imagined, and it has also revealed the selfishness in my soul. Honor counteracts my selfishness. Honor continues to change how I treat my husband and children. Honor continues to change the way we think about and respect each other.

But, if I only teach respect, than I am narrow in my understanding of what honor is. Respect in the Greek is phobos and at its root, it means to “fear”. Generally, respect is holding high regard for a person’s position or achievements, and this is outward. Honor comes from timae, which means “worth” or “value”, and this goes much deeper. (Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes… in You and Your Kids)

We made a decision, this passed Christmas. We decided gifts will be for Christ, celebrating the birthday of our Lord. In giving to the least of these, we give to Him. Whom He loves becoming our priority. Birthdays are for celebrating a person’s birth into this world, valuing the gift they are to us, showing their worth to us, by showing them honor. It is so much more than gift giving and getting.

So what about our birthdays? They would be special this year, with mine being the first. This passed week, by my husband’s leading, my family celebrated me. I long so much for us to show each other honor, and they gave this great gift. They showed me HONOR. For this, I give God glory for the working of His Spirit in our lives and in our home. For this I give thanks.

I am thankful for…

167. My first birthday greeting of the week, from Pre-teen Beauty on crutches.

168. Husband cooking dinner. He could be called a Gourmet. (Tuna steak, topped with mango salsa, served over fresh spinach)

169. My help-meet doing household chores, so I don’t have to.

170. Our new cook in the kitchen, cooking dinner, again.

171. Waking up to a scavenger hunt of love notes from Eldest Beauty.

172. Finding love up and down and all around.

173-184. A few of my favorite, of 34 notes love. {#20 deserved to places :)}

185. Another dinner I did not have to cook, thanks to my mama.

186. Eldest Beauty taking baby girl early morning, so I may sleep in a while.

187. A morning greeting that found me running and squealing and Son chasing and giggling, around the table we go.

188. A spontaneous night out with Eldest Beauty.

189. Driving home to find a fire truck leaving our driveway, and walking in the house to smell the remnants of a birthday cake burnt, and Husband trying so hard. The only physical evidence to find is hanging, disconnected, as smoke alarm would not turn off, and ending with us all laughing. LOVE’S JOY.

190. Birthday card, created with love, from Pre-teen Beauty.

191. Husband’s words and writing with his own hands.

192. An afternoon spent away for time alone.

193. Coming home to a surprise prepared.

194. Husband hearing when I remarked, “Turquoise and red, that is my favorite combo right now.”

195. Eldest Daughter capturing a precious moment, filling out birthday cards while I am away.

196. Husband’s beautiful back-up plan for burnt birthday cake.

197. A surf-and-turf dinner prepared by my own Gourmet.

198. Discovering Pre-teen beauty worked so hard helping dad and even ironed the beautiful linen tablecloth that once belonged to Husband’s mama.

199. Seeing the same daughter’s relief when Daddy told her she did not have to clean-up because she worked so hard already.

200. My little cupcake trying to steal mine, and candle before it’s lit.

201. Lighting candle and finding a blue flame.

202. Birthday singing.

203. Luck having nothing to do with it, ever. Every good gift from from above, coming down from the Father. James 1:17

204. I am thankful for GRACE and FORGIVENESS, from my husband and children, though I fail daily. His strength is made perfect in weakness.

I hold-on and will never let go of the vision of walking out the rest my days with my family, all dwelling in His Presence, walking in His Love, serving Him, honoring one another, while the children abide here at home and then when they are growing their own. I purpose to live every moment today, for His glory, and the thought of tomorrow and the legacy I will leave, never far away.