There are words and a story still on my heart, wanting to be scratch out here today. Something I have carried in my heart all week. There are empty pages on this site’s navigation menu I want to fill. There are a myriad of ideas swirling around in my mind, seeking a place to land and develop into something beautiful. I have sought an occasion to pour out and form into posts, the silent ponderings and the illegible scribbles. Although, I have had time, the same amount given to each of us in a day, I have spent it on other things. In His time, I will live out all the dreams He has placed in this heart.
If sacrifice is an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy, then I have had to sacrifice writing for the sake of living. Living in the moment with the precious gifts God has given me, focusing on relationship above all. Although I dream and have vision for their lives lived long, I can really only count today with them. And today, I do not want to miss.
I want to visit the beautiful bloggers and read the stories they write as they lay hearts bare before the Lord and us followers. I instead choose to read about dyslexia, so that I may learn and aid my struggling reader. I have been looking for moments to steal away and reply to heartfelt emails and comments I am utterly grateful for, but instead I have used my time to do somersaults on the trampoline with my Pre-teen Beauty.
I have chosen to answer “YES” to her question, “Will you help me?”, and carry hay to her beloved horses across the fields. I have chosen to chase Toddler all around the new green ushering in spring, as everything is an adventure to this young life. I have chosen to hold Only Son’s hand and look in his eyes and tune in to listen to his tender-heart through his voice twittering.
Each day I purpose to live better than the day before. I ask myself, “What is it that I regret from yesterday?” When I know the answer, which almost always points to my relationship with God and these at home, it helps me to spend my time in the day ahead, without its end resulting in remorse over moments squandered.
Although choosing what I should-do or have-to-do, instead of what I really want-to-do is challenging and even frustrating at times, I know that I will NEVER regret any moment that I have given up for the sake of these I serve in my first calling as wife and mama.
I also know when I choose to allow other diversions take precedent, I will carry heart-heavy regret over every moment I have sacrificed THEM for. I don’t want that.
I am slow learner, but still, I am learning. I am learning to filter every decision, even small daily ones, through the revealed plans and purposes that God has for this life and the little ones I lead.