There may be a few of these real-time posts. You know, the ones where I tell you I didn’t get to write the post I wanted, and then I let you in on my world to tell, or actually show you why.

Remember the “ish” I added to the 31 for #31days?? Yes, well, that was for wiggle room. I had posts planned for Sunday, and today. But, my husband and son were away on a hunting trip all weekend. The last 3 days I spent entertaining our 3 year old. I’ve pretty much been her full time playmate. It’s amazing how much I rely on her siblings to play with her. And, when I might have had a chance, my 8th grader hijacked my computer for a science project, after I blow dried her hair.

And since it’s “Making of a Home: UNVEILED” there you have it.

I’m still learning to let go of lofty expectations of my I-can-do-it-all self, and release self imposed deadlines that stress me out, draw out my ugliness, and cause me to forget what’s most important. And not just in blogging, but in making a home, and in life.

I committed to this series, on the condition I didn’t turn it into a burden. I have to hold myself to it. Like when I told my husband last night when he finally made it home after being gone 3 days, “I’m not writing tonight. I’m hanging out with you.”

I get to make my own rules. It’s my blog. And it’s not that I don’t care about being consistent, or writing. It’s that I do. And that’s why there’s a tension in choosing in where I give my yes.

Choosing “yes” always means choosing “no” too. And where I decide to give my yes and no, also proves what’s most important to me. We all know, or at least should, where our time and money — that’s what matters most to us.

I’m not always so good at it, but I purpose to always answer the question, “Mom, will you play with me?” with a, “yes.” My toddler, well, she has more energy than the whole family combined. She’s adventurous. She’s courageous. She’s the Energizer Bunny. And she hates me on the computer, talking on the phone, doing laundry or dishes. Seriously. As much as I don’t like calling PBS to babysit, I sometimes have to. She doesn’t nap, but sleeps, and when she’s finally asleep, I’m pretty much ready to be, too.

Then of course, we have to eat. And everyone should be wearing a fresh pair of clean underwear — every day, right?

I get a lot of things wrong in this making of a home, endeavor.

But being “available” is what I want to get right. I want my husband and kids to be able to say, “She made herself available to us, even though there were other things she could have been doing. She made us priority, even when she was writing a 31 day series on her blog.”

I want that.

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