I still hold on to control, even after all these years of letting go.
I have told God with my words, “Take it all Lord, it’s Yours.”
Then I get my hands all over it and press and prod and push, and my actions shout,
“Let go! Move over! I will do it!”
I know He is paying attention to how I walk out this process, this journey.
While I’m pleading for Him to deal with what’s happening TO me,
His Masterful Hands are quietly, gently working IN me.
The testing of my faith produces endurance. And when I let endurance have its perfect work, I will be be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
(James 1:3-4)
Complete? Lacking nothing? “Lord, I pray You make me whole.”
These trials will show my faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though my faith is far more precious than mere gold.
(1Peter 1:7)
Far more precious than gold? He knows the value my faith holds. But I too, must know.
What part this has in the big picture of my life is unknown to me, but I trust the One who sees the end from the beginning. He chose me before the foundations of the world were laid. He knows the plans He has for me and I am to walk and discover them as His Word lights my path.
In the chaos that surrounds me I can find the quiet place to hear the whispers of the Holy One Who calls me friend. In this quiet place He stills my heart, as the storm rages around, so that I can know He is in control. While I am holding on to and wrestling with cares that should be cast and bringing myself to exhaustion that reduces me to empty, He waits patiently for me to come so He can fill me. The One Whom time has no weight and no press and no bearing. He waits in no hurry like my own. I believe the One that says,
“My yoke is easy, My burden is light.”
I weep, and I lean in close, as I let go again… For Abba Father… I WAIT…