More than half my life I ago, I sat in an auditorium surrounded by hundreds of youth. Yet, I sat only with God. He had my attention, and I had His. He had a seed of a dream to plant in the tender fertile soil of this heart that was newly His.

With each word the preachers spoke and each story the missionaries told, my heart broke a little more. There, at the Planet Shakers youth conference, they unveiled to us the depravity of this lost and dying world in need of a Savior. The same Savior I just met, that rescued me from darkness and saved my soul.

I cried. I wept. I grieved with God over this world He loves, and offered myself wholly so praying He would use me to bring His message to the ends of it. I heard the message, and there was no question in my heart. I wanted to answer the call of God. “Yes, Lord, here I am. Send me.”

Yet, no call ever came.

And this story played over and over again. I offered myself as a living sacrifice on the altar to our God. He would break my heart and my heart pour out this song become prayer…

Hear my cry

Incline thine ear to me

Purify this heart of mine

Place in me the burden of your heart

and let this prayer be my desire…

And half my life passed, but this burden never has. Though many of those years I shook my fist at God and asked, “Why? Why would you break my heart so deeply for the nations, and I hardly ever leave my house?” I pleaded with Him to take this from me. But I was burdened, and still am, for holy purpose.

I wondered and wandered long. Through my wanderings, God broke my heart for my children and for family. He impassioned me for the call of motherhood. He created in me a mama’s heart and broke my heart for mamas.

And what does this have to do with the Nations?

This.

The call has come, and I am being sent. After almost 2 decades of carrying dormant the seed in my heart, the seed has begun to sprout. I am going to help save babies and offer hope to mamas that their babies will live.

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If you would like to, you can watch the full version of the video here.

In the last line of “God’s Been Waiting for my Yes”, I wrote,

“Will this “YES” take me to the nations, Lord, to provide food for the hungry, shelter for the bare, water for the thirsty and You for the lost? Because that’s what I want. Then here is my leap fearless. Yes, God — I AM A WRITER.”

A couple of weeks after I published that post, I was offered an opportunity to go to Guatemala as a blogger. God heard my yes, and my writing is taking me to a new nation — with my family’s wholehearted support.

God has broken my heart again for what His beats for. He has awakened my soul and my husband’s soul to the world He loves, and He will awaken my children’s I know. As I share my stories with them, they will share in the tears shed for the least of these. We will go together one day soon, I know. This is just the beginning.

During the last 4 months, God has done a deep work in my heart that has brought me to the new place of surrender. Always a new place — deeper, lower to go higher. He’s preparing me for what’s ahead. The only way to stay strong, is to know I’m weak.

I will be blogging through the entire trip the first week of October, from Guatemala.

I am joining with World Help for Operation Baby Rescue.

I know where my babies will eat today.

I know where my babies will sleep.

I am answering the call to help rescue babies for the mamas who don’t.

Will you join me?

To know who I am in Christ —

I know even more surely now —

is really not about me. <— Tweetable, eh?