A letter to my teenage self. What I would want her to know.
I’ve thought about writing you long before I saw the invitation to. But now I see it’s timely, as I’ve been thinking much about you lately. You have 3 girls now that you are raising. It matters now more than ever to remember what it’s like to be a teenage girl. Many of these words are for them. And words I wish some one told me.
I want to tell you, those lost teenage years that Jesus rescued you from are no more. That’s shame you feel, that wants you to hide, but you are washed clean. Grace calls you to come. Go. And the One who rescued you and your baby girl,
He’s never failed and never will. Trust Him.
You can rest from all those efforts to be good enough and to prove yourself. You don’t have to tire yourself weary striving for perfection — it’s a vanishing line you will never reach on this side of eternity
His finished work on the cross was good enough, so you do not have to be.
There will be some who will wound you, and convince you to hide in a prison of your own making. The words they speak in secret, thinking no one hears, the devil hears. The devil will try and use them to destroy you, waiting for an opportune time to tear you apart, screaming lies in your ears until you feel you like you are nothing. Until you think they must be true. But do not believe them.
Believe me when I say — when He says — you are loved fierce. You are worth dying for, because Christ did.
There are many who do not know the love of Christ and grace He died to give. Even some that know Him, do not know. Pray for those. They will hurt the most. It may be tempting to live with fist-clenched and heart-closed. It even may seem safe and strong. But until you love without the promise of love in return. Until you allow the Lover of your soul, to also be the Guardian of your heart, you will miss out on the great gift God has offered in people He will love you through.
And live open-handed and open-hearted. Live transparent for the Light to shine through. There are countless others who love freely. Those, they make you feel rich. I think God intended it to be so. The open circle — they let you in, no matter your imperfections or your mess. They love you and welcome you. It’s called community. Do not be afraid.
Relationships are what is most important to God. First yours with Him and then with others. Everything else can wait.
Mama is a gift. You will not know of a love more unconditional, besides that of Jesus. Appreciate her sooner. Provide for her as best you can. Never cease to give, because she never ceases to give.
And the husband God gives you to love you and baby girl — it’s okay to let him love you. It is alright to need him. It is fine and good to melt in his arms because you melt his heart. He is a safe place and you can allow him to peer deep into your soul. He gives his life for you. He lives to offer you all the best he can. Don’t waste years living in prideful, fearful independence. Depend on him. He is your support and he wants to see your dreams come true. Truly.
And those dreams. They may feel like they will kill you — the hope deferred making your heart-sick. It may seem like those preachers lied to you about the great things God will do through your life. They didn’t. You go a different road and a longer way than you expected. You will be afraid of those big God-sized dreams. But you do not have to be. Make them your own. The sooner you do, the sooner you can offer them back to God.
And the sooner that you know that motherhood is work fit for the Kingdom of God, the sooner you’ll be able to enjoy the immeasurable gifts God has given in your children.
And He will break your mama’s heart until it beats in rhythm with His for their life. Then He will break your mama’s heart for mamas. You will love them and want to lift them up, point them to the Way. Allow His gentle, masterful hands to do the work, deep within.
The pain and the suffering, the wandering and the wondering, the fear and the fight, He will use all of it. It is His story He is writing with you. Not for you, but for His glory and to help others. Be a beacon of light. Show the way. Let others in. Open up. Offer the truest part of you, always. Not everyone will understand, and that is okay. Stay true to yourself. Celebrate who God made you. Remain authentic.
You are going to write. Offer what is in your hands, no matter how small it seems. Unearth the talents, sooner than later. Then wait. He comes for them. And when He does, you will want to show Him and offer true what you have. He comes back with more. Use them.
Don’t grow weary in doing good, especially the good that no one sees. That’s God’s favorite kind. He never forgets all you sacrifice, all you give up in living a life surrendered. You gain everything, when you lose your life in Him.
What He rewards you with cannot be measured by earthly standards. The gifts cannot be counted in just a thousand ways. His joy is unspeakable and full of glory. His peace surpasses understanding. His love is everlasting and His mercy and grace endure forever.
And nothing is ever lost that which we offer to Him.
When He calls you by name, pause, turn, look and answer Him. He is your portion.
Remember in the dark places what He spoke in the light — truth.
Love,
Yourself, Michele-Lyn, 34