My Dream Again Story Part 2 [Dream Again Day 30]

How is it that we succumb to the feeling that we “can’t” when we believe our future holds real promise? How can there be such a disconnect between what we say and what we feel? It doesn’t make much sense — until you realize that while we may have confidence in the future, we don’t always have confidence in our ability to make it through the present. We may see a bolder, brighter tomorrow, but wen we look at where we are today, our strength fades. We give up before we even start pursuing that brighter future, yet we keep holding out hope that “someday” our lives will be different.

In the mean time, a vague feeling of discontent begins to seep into our souls while we’re not looking. Then something reminds us that if we are not intentional, our lives will become encumbered with regrets not so much about what we did but about what we didn’t do. If we are not intentional, we become people who “wish we had” instead of those who are “glad we did.” — Dr. Les Parrot, You’re Stronger Than You Think

For years I saw only a blank canvas. I wept over it. Pleading for the Master Artist to paint His piece — paint my life with God colors. And I’d feel guilt. It wasn’t that raising my children wasn’t enough. Clearly, God made wanted my family my first priority. But still, I couldn’t deny a deep calling — seeds planted.

Dreams are seeds of possibility planted in your soul, calling you to pursue a unique path to the realization of your purpose.” John Maxwell

And I begged and pleaded with Him long, “Don’t waste my life. Please do something with this life.”After a decade and a half I was ready hear His response to my pleas. “Don’t waste your life. Do something with this life. This life is yours to live.”

And I heard God’s call. There was a stirring in my heart. I sought after God, hungry, and it was a breakthrough I craved. I found it was not even my breakthrough that I needed — it was God’s to be had. The Spirit of the living God breaking-through to a guarded, forbidden place in my soul — where dormant dreams laid. A place that had been left forgotten, in darkness, and over time crowded by thickets webbed of insecurity and fear — a wilderness of uncertainty and doubt.

Then layered over time with answers that distract and distort, forged by ungodly beliefs that masquerade as truth. In an effort to hide what has been used to hide — decorated with counterfeits of beauty, lovely things that pacify the passerby, and I the passerby, so as not to remember what lies beneath. It was a breakthrough to the place where hopes remained caged. Where the dream-seeds died, because there can be no resurrection without a death.

I kept my dreams buried, and it was time for an unearthing. He was asking me to make those dreams I feared — my own. If the dream isn’t mine, I don’t have to feel the pain of losing it, of it dying or failing. I offered them back, but they were not mine to give until I made them my own. Dare I?

And it was from inside a prison, I heard the Voice of the Lord calling.
Behind the door I hid — a door locked from the inside.

But He was drawing me out, outside myself.
Calling me to press through this invisible wall of fear.
Fear of failure. Fear of ridicule. Fear of being called a fool.

I can hear the voices condensing. Mocking as I bring my offering. Who does she think she is? As if this is really Kingdom work, as if blogging is a sacrifice or real ministry!

God worked relentless to get me to believe what He said about me is true. And it’s not even for me. It’s for Him that I believe and unearth the gift — to embrace the dreams — for one eternal purpose of calling His creation to Himself. And using my life in whatever means for the same end.

To know who I am in Christ, I know even more surely now, is really not about me.

And I dared to dream again. I wrote these words in a comment on the dream post that ignited it all. “My dream is for God to use my writing to provide for my family and I to go the nations on regular short-term mission’s trips to provide food for the hungry, shelter for the bare, water for the thirsty and Jesus for the lost.”

And an awakening in my heart — my soul awakened to the world He loves, my heart breaking for what breaks His. And He breathed life again into those dreams. And I made them my own.

He waited for me to take a leap fearless as I stood on the edge of YES. But, if my “Yes” would take me to the nations, it seemed an unlikely route. My “Yes” did not come easy. Why was there such a fight within? What lies have webbed my way that I could not believe it is me for whom He calls?

What lies have webbed your way that you cannot believe it’s YOU He calls?

As I stood on the edge of yes, God waited.

And then from the edge, I jumped. And I wrote it, here. “Will this “YES” take me to the nations, Lord, to provide food for the hungry, shelter for the bare, water for the thirsty and You for the lost? Because that’s what I want. Then here is my leap fearless. Yes, God — I AM A WRITER.”

And somehow, that proclamation got God’s attention. This post set in motion a series of events I believe were God ordained, that are directly linked to my dream, my message, and my destiny. A couple of weeks after I published that post, I was offered a chance to go to Guatemala as a blogger with World Help — to write — write the stories of what I experienced while I was there.

I used what was in my hands, and God met me right where I was. He took an ordinary wife and mama, placed her in front of a computer screen to open up with others with hope others would open up with God, through the soul labor of writing true — words that stretch far and wide over the world. Believing, “I’m here to be light, to bring out the God-colors in the world…“ (Matthew 5:14MSG)

And He awakened my dreams, and used my writing to take me to a new nation. And new dream seeds were planted. And I realized, my “Yes” isn’t really about me. What if my “Yes” to God means the matter of life and death for someone — both on earth and for eternity?

All along, through the entire process, God was working, forming me, making me ready as a vessel of honor fit for the Master’s use. I learned God has a plan tailer made for me, and He does for you, too.

If you don’t know what your dream is, ask Him to lead you in discovering it.

I believe it’s already inside of you — tethered to your passions and desires.

Would you believe me if I said, God the Father is asking you, “What do you want?” What is it that you really, really want?

No matter how big or how small. “Every big dream has a small beginning. No exceptions. Every tree was a seed once upon a time. The people who do big things for God are the ones who have the perspective to see the potential in these small beginnings.”Steve Furtick, Sun Stand Still

Write It Out: What do you want? Dare you answer? What is that you really want?

Dream again — for Him. Dream. Your dreams are connected to your destiny. Your destiny is your God given purpose. God’s purpose in you is to reveal His glory to the world so others might believe. The world is waiting to see what picture your life paints of Who He is.

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Say It Loud: “A dream is the picture of the future you want to live someday. Dreams are hope carriers and are not bound by time or present circumstances. He made you with desires, with dreams, with passions and He loves to see you come alive, as your dreams become reality. He even hides Himself in the journey of your dreams so that all along the journey you discover Him more and more.” —Andy and Janine Mason, Dream Culture

“So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask Him.” (Matthew 7:11b NLT)